This happened a few years back. I was flying back to the states and my plane had a layover in Amsterdam. It was supposed to last only a few minutes, but unfortunately due to laws that had just passed earlier that week after the Netherlands’ government caved into the demands of the terrorist group “Mothers Against Drunk Flying,” our pilot wasn’t allowed to take off until the next day.

I had never been to Amsterdam, but I’d heard good things about their coffeeshops. Being somewhat of a connoisseur of the bean, I decided to see what they had. The experience was totally miserable. First of all, the place was full of smoke! It was a nice day outside and there were windows, but apparently the shop insisted on keeping them closed. Next, the man at the counter tried to tell me they didn’t serve coffee! When I sarcastically asked what they did serve, he asked me if I wanna marry him, which was just plain bizarre. Finally I got fed up and just ordered a pastry.

I don’t really remember what happened after that.