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In the middle of the city square, a group of zombies rushed from the west to the east, growling and snarling and clawing, blood dripping from their mouths.

On the eastern side of the city square, a more colorfully dressed group of zombies rushed towards the west, moaning and groaning and pelvic thrusting, something entirely different dripping from their mouths.

The two groups met in the center, a frenzy of destruction. Zombies scratched and clawed at zombies who mounted and humped other zombies.

Suddenly, both groups were scattered as a jeep plowed through the center, rendering zombies of both types into colorful stains on the ground.

Inside sat the famous archeologist Jenny Zaland, her driver José, and assistant Phil.

“Remind me again why we had to come back into the city?” asked José.

“Those relics in my hotel room are priceless. We can’t let them be destroyed,” Jenny told him for the thirtieth time.

“Watch out!” shouted Phil, as José swerved around a group of undead women who had planted themselves in the road and were hiking up their skirts at the passing car.

“Those artifacts we found at the site could change the course of world history,” Jenny continued. “We’ve got to get them somewhere where they can be properly studied.”

“Why’d you store them in your hotel room anyway?” grumbled Phil.

As the jeep passed an alleyway, they were suddenly ambushed by a group of sexy zombies who pounced on the car and began drooling on the windshield. José screeched and turned the wheel, causing the car to flip. Jenny was thrown out of the car, but miraculously landed in a soft pile of rotting bodies. José and Phil were not so lucky, though. The car hit a wall and caught on fire. The zombies approached the two, desire in their eyes.

“Shit,” Jenny muttered, climbing out of the pile of bodies. She noticed her archeological pick had been thrown out of the car as well and was lying in the road in front of her. Unfortunately, as she bent over to pick it up she attracted the attention of a particularly perverted zombie who happened to be nearby. He pointed at her and shouted, and she took off running towards the hotel, several randy zombies in pursuit.